What am I feeling? Everything around me tells me to keep silent, yet everything inside me tells me to explode, to pour myself onto a page until my emotions materialize into words. I have so much to express and somehow so little to say. So I sit here, in a chair by a fire in a quite house with my noisy thoughts and I try to calm them down enough to hear what they are saying about each other.
I guess I’m in love.
Not with anything or anyone in particular, there is no special girl or fortunate circumstance. There is no glimmering phantom binding me to an emotional high as fickle and temporary as its existence.
I am in love. It is where I am. It is where I live from. It is the lens through which I see life, the filter through which I view my memories. Even if the most dire of situations, even if I am surrounded by the tempest of unforgiving circumstance I cannot be deterred from my course because “Perfect love casts out fear.” Because love is best friends with hope and hope always incites unexplainable excitement. So I guess that’s what I’m feeling as I sit here in my quite house with my buzzing thoughts. I suppose this is what is to be expected when in the mindset of love.
Our mindsets are our state of being; the two are one in the same. We cannot choose our emotions but we can choose our mindsets and our emotions live where our thoughts do.
Conveniently, love is not an emotion; it is the state of being that determines our emotions. Joy is found through love… and love is a choice.
1 John 4:18 ESV